Hooters files for bankruptcy, a tale of the Retail Apocalypse

I left my usual "Stay tuned" message in the middle of 'SNL' laughs at Trump's tariffs and stock market crash: "Hooters' bankruptcy deserves more than a one-liner declaring the chain's business model a bust, so I plan on blogging about it tomorrow or Tuesday. Stay tuned." I begin with ABC News reporting Hooters restaurant chain files for bankruptcy on April 1st, no fooling.

Restaurant chain Hooters of America filed for bankruptcy in Texas on Monday, seeking to address its $376 million debt by selling all of its company-owned restaurants.

I vaguely recall Stephen Colbert telling that joke, but I'm glad I saw it again to share it. Also, since I have been eating out very little since the pandemic, and when I do, it's at Hooters competitor Buffalo Wild Wings, the butt of Colbert's joke, I haven't noticed inflation much at casual restaurants. I had no idea inflation was that severe in that sector!

The bankruptcy didn't come as a complete surprise, as Inside Edition asked at the end of February Is Hooters on the Brink of Bankruptcy?

Bloomberg News reports Hooters may be on the brink of filing for bankruptcy. The restaurant chain once had 430 locations around the world. Now, 40 locations shuttered in the U.S. in the past year alone. There's another issue specific to Hooters. In the "Me Too" era, Hooters was seen as a throwback to another time when scantily clad waitresses seemed like a fun idea. Inside Edition's Alison Hall has more.

The answer to the headline question turned out to be yes. On the other hand, the answer to whether the chain as a whole will close its door will probably be no. I'll get to that later. First, I'll address Hooters' reputation that might have caught up with it in Company Man's Hooters - The Controversial History.

Hooters is a national restaurant chain with a controversial history. This video talks about some of their bigger controversies over the years.

Company Man Mike was right; Hooters has a controversial history! Now I'm wondering when he'll come out with "The Decline of Hooters...What Happened?"

Yahoo! Finance explains why the chain will almost certainly survive in Hooters files for bankruptcy: CEO talks about company’s future.

Hooters has filed for bankruptcy, but the chain isn't going away. Hooters of America CEO Sal Melilli explains what's next for the company in the video above.

I don't know if Sal Melilli's plan will address food and labor costs, but it does deal with the chain's checkered reputation. I hope it works.

I close by calling back to The first year of Crazy Eddie's Motie News: Part 1 of several, the first time I recall mentioning Hooters on this blog.

I'll leave you with my two favorite images of signs in Troy...The second proves that I can fail the Butt-Head half of the Beavis and Butt-Head test. What makes it even worse is that is the exit sign for the Hooters in Troy. Think about it.

Unfortunately, the Troy Hooters location closed seven years ago. On the one hand, this is the last time I can tell that joke. On the other, it was time my readers and I found out.

A couple of the videos mentioned the bankruptcies of Red Lobster and TGI Fridays. Those were the subjects of two of the most read entries of last year. Expect me to cover them on Wayback Wednesday. Stay tuned.

'SNL' laughs at Trump's tariffs and stock market crash

I closed the body of 'Star Trek: Strange New Worlds' for First Contact Day, a holiday special with a program note.

In the meantime, Stay tuned for the highlights of tonight's Saturday Night Live. Let's see how they make tariffs and a stock market crash funny.

Watch Trump Tariff Cold Open to find out.

President Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) addresses his tariffs and their impact on the stock market during a speech.

That explanation of the tariff equation made about as much sense as the real one and was a lot more fun. Also, James Austin Johnson's Donald Trump will be very disappointed to find the real McDonald Island is a cold place inhabited by penguins, not a tropical paradise with fast food. That's ironic since my original nickname for Hoover Cleveland was The Penguin. Weekend Update acknowledged that fact in Trump Tariffs Cause $6 Trillion Loss, Tesla Stock Plummets 10%.

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like Trump imposing worldwide tariffs.

Six trillion dollars lost in one week? Yikes! Speaking of lost money, the next segment featured Retail Apocalypse news, Hooters Files for Bankruptcy, Subway Unveils Footlong Doritos Nachos.

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like a 1-year-old eating his grandfather's ashes.

Hooters' bankruptcy deserves more than a one-liner declaring the chain's business model a bust, so I plan on blogging about it tomorrow or Tuesday. Stay tuned.

Follow over the jump for the rest of last night's highlights.

'Star Trek: Strange New Worlds' for First Contact Day, a holiday special

Happy First Contact Day, when I celebrate Star Trek! Like last year, I'm looking forward to an upcoming season of the latest series on the franchise, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. Watch the SyFy Sistas Inc. wishing their viewers Happy First Contact Day _Season 3 Teaser Star Trek SNW.

[Paramount+] released the teaser trailer for the upcoming third season of its hit original series STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS, coming this summer to the platform. Paramount+ previously announced the series has also been renewed for a fourth season, which is currently in production in Toronto.

In season three, when we reconnect with the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise, still under the command of Captain Pike, they face the conclusion of season two’s harrowing encounter with the Gorn. But new life and civilizations await, including a villain that will test our characters’ grit and resolve. An exciting twist on classic Star Trek, season three takes characters both new and beloved to new heights, and dives into thrilling adventures of faith, duty, romance, comedy, and mystery, with varying genres never before seen on any other Star Trek.

Other than the preview image, this is exactly the same as Star Trek: Strange New Worlds | Season 3 Official Teaser | Paramount+, but the preview image was exactly what I wanted for today, so SyFy Sistas win. Just the same, here is the official upload's description.

One show. Infinite Adventures. Star Trek: Strange New Worlds returns this summer exclusively on Paramount+!

Join the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise as they discover new civilizations, test their resolve and dive into thrilling adventures.

SyFy Sistas even have a more comprehensive description.

The trailer looks like fun, so I watched First Look | Star Trek: Strange New Worlds - Season 3.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds is based on the years Captain Christopher Pike manned the helm of the U.S.S. Enterprise. The series follows Captain Pike, Science Officer Spock, Number One and the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise, in the years before Captain Kirk boarded the starship, as they explore new worlds around the galaxy. The new season is set to debut in 2025.

That's an interesting premise entertainingly executed. I'm looking forward to seeing how the crew gets out of this situation, as well as the rest of the ten episodes that will stream this summer.

It turns out that First Contact Day is only one of at least ten special Star Trek days on the calendar. Trek Culture describes them in 10 In-Universe Star Trek Holidays (And When To Celebrate Them).

Let's look at every holiday from Star Trek that we can celebrate in 2025.

Hearing that Frontier Day is April 13th reminds me that I already celebrate a space day that I declared in 2012, Apophis Day. Now I have two holidays to celebrate in eight days!

I'm not done with today's holiday celebration. Follow over the jump for a retrospective of the rest of the most read holiday entries that I didn't cover in Ig Nobel Prizes for April Fools Day 2025, a holiday special.

Kosta, Colbert, and Meyers take closer looks at tariffs on Flashback Friday

Yesterday's bad news was tariffs and, of course, tariffs were the story that stuck around. The Daily Show was among the shows that featured them as the topic of their monologues. Since it had the best preview image, I'm sharing Trump’s Tariffs Send Markets Plunging and Penguins Waddling to a Trade War first.

Michael Kosta recaps Trump's tariffs fallout, from a stock market crash to cabinet officials taking to the airwaves to cheerlead the move. Plus, Grace Kuhlenschmidt checks in on the penguins who now find themselves in a trade war.

Imposing tariffs on a territory inhabited only by penguins was the funniest thing about this mess. It shows that Hoover Cleveland and whoever was actually doing his work just went down a list and assigned tariffs without checking to see if any people actually lived there. *Eye roll* I'd say we're living in Idiocracy except that's science fiction that takes place in the 26th Century. We're really living in a kakistocracy, "government run by the worst, least qualified, or most unscrupulous citizens." How about all three?

Speaking of "the worst, least qualified, or most unscrupulous citizens," the title of Stephen Colbert's monologue was Trump Jets Off To Watch Golf After Triggering Global Market Meltdown | No Tariffs On Russia.

President Trump's tariff announcement, which sent stocks into a nosedive and enraged America's allies around the world, mysteriously excluded one major country: Russia.

No tariffs on Russia? I'm not surprised. As I wrote yesterday, "Maybe it's good for his fellow billionaires, including Vladimir Putin, his partner in a bad bromance. I have long had my suspicions." This just reinforces them.

My wife and I watched both Colbert and Seth Meyers, who examined the situation in Trump's Insane Tariff Plan Tanks Stock Market, Risks Economic Collapse as Prices Rise: A Closer Look.

Seth takes a closer look at Trump implementing massive tariffs on almost every country in the world, raising prices for American consumers, escalating a pointless trade war with allies and pushing the economy into a self-inflicted meltdown.

Seth mentioned his wife's shopping list, which reminds me that my wife went shopping at Costco yesterday. She said it reminded her of the early days of the pandemic, when everyone was buying toilet paper, including her. Doom spending, anyone?

I close this portion of the post with the cold open of The Late Show, The World Reacts To Trump's Tariffs.

The president thinks his man-made economic disaster is going "very well."

He would think so. In reality, we're partying like it's 1929.

Follow over the jump for a retrospective of the top posts from last year featuring late-night talk-show hosts examining Donald "Hoover Cleveland" Trump's second term so far to observe Flashback Friday.

Colbert, Kosta, and Meyers take closer looks at tariffs, Wisconsin, and Cory Booker

It's been a minute since I compiled the monologues of the late-night talk show hosts, so I'm returning with Stephen Colbert laughing at Trump Risks Historic Economic Damage | Musk Crushed In Wisconsin | Sen. Booker's Marathon Speech so he and his audience don't have to cry.

President Trump announced new tariffs which economists warn could plunge the world into a depression, Wisconsin voters overwhelmingly rejected Elon Musk's preferred candidate for the state's Supreme Court, and Senator Cory Booker spoke for a record-breaking 25 hours on the Senate floor in protest of Trump's actions.

I call Trump Hoover Cleveland because he was the first president since Herbert Hoover to leave the Oval Office with fewer Americans employed than when he entered. His tariffs could repeat that. The only thing that could save him is that he's doing it so early in his second term. Still, it wasn't necessary for the good of the country. As I wrote in Forever 21 files for bankruptcy and will close all U.S. stores, a tale of the Retail Apocalypse and repeated in CNBC explains 'What’s Scaring Americans Into Shopping More':

If the U.S. does go into recession this year, it won't be because of internal economic forces, but because of government interference, which normally tries to cushion against economic downturns. Biden piloted the U.S. economy to a soft landing, then Hoover Cleveland tries to crash the plane anyway!

I'm not even sure it's good for Hoover Cleveland, although he might think so. As I wrote in George Santos sues Jimmy Kimmel and Trump sells sneakers, "he has long had a very bad case of 'L'État, c'est moi.' As far as he's concerned, he is the country." Maybe it's good for his fellow billionaires, including Vladimir Putin, his partner in a bad bromance. I have long had my suspicions.

Michael Kosta at The Daily Show covered the same stories with the assistance of Desi Lydic, but scrambled their order, in Trump Launches "Liberation Day" Tariffs & Cory Booker's Speech Breaks Senate Record.

Michael Kosta recaps surprising wins for the Democrats, including a victory in the Wisconsin Supreme Court race despite Elon Musk's financial interference, and a record-breaking 25-hour speech by Cory Booker. Plus, Trump launches his "Liberation Day" tariffs, and Republicans scramble to supply cover.

Since Kamala Harris lost, I've been wondering who would step up to be the next leading candidate for the 2028 Democratic Presidential nomination. Cory Booker might have just made his move.

I conclude with Seth Meyers' Musk and Trump Lose Big in Wisconsin After Spending Millions to Buy Votes: A Closer Look.

Seth takes a closer look at the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, trying to buy a seat on the Wisconsin state Supreme Court.

Can Elon Musk buy an election?

I'd like to think Democrats still have the turnout advantage in off-year elections they've had since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Hoover Cleveland won states like Wisconsin and Michigan through "bullet ballots" — people voting for him but no one else. They didn't vote for downballot contests and aren't likely to vote in an election where Trump is not on the ballot. That reminds me of an answer to the question I asked in I ask The Archdruid and his readers 'Can you show us on the doll exactly where the educated professionals hurt you?' The answer is turn against Republicans and deny them downballot victories. I hope that happens tomorrow in Wisconsin and other states where there are off-year and special elections.

I got my wish. The answer to "can Elon Musk buy an election?" was "NO!"

I know I promised a retrospective for Throwback Thursday, but I decided I would catch up on my sleep, so I ran out of time. Definitely tomorrow for Flashback Friday, when I don't have to go to work. Stay tuned.

Vox asks 'RFK Jr. is in charge of vaccines. What now?' A Wayback Wednesday special

I've been worried about RFK Jr. being in charge of federal health policy ever since Hoover Cleveland's re-election. Vox explored his ability to affect Health and Human Services (HHS) policy when it asked RFK Jr. is in charge of vaccines. What now?

The new US secretary of Health and Human Services has a long history of spreading misinformation about vaccines.
...
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been called the most unqualified health secretary in the history of the US. Before his confirmation, over 22,000 doctors signed a letter urging the Senate to reject his appointment. During the confirmation hearing several senators grilled him on his concerning history related to vaccine misinformation: things like his founding of an anti-vax organization, his concerning anti-vax rhetoric, and his history of suing vaccine manufacturers, something he stands to make a lot of money doing.

The former environmental lawyer was propelled to the nation’s highest health office largely by the “MAHA” movement, a play on Trump’s “Make America Great Again” slogan (“Make America Healthy Again”). As health secretary, Kennedy wants to solve the chronic disease epidemic in the US, which plenty of doctors can get behind. The issue is that he aims to do it at the expense of infectious disease research. And therein lies the problem. Most people can agree when he says things like “I’m supportive of vaccines” and “I want good science.” The trouble is that his definition of “good” is, well — let’s call it historically shaky. In March, he appointed a well-known vaccine skeptic to head a study on the long-debunked potential link between vaccines and autism.

So what’s next? Can RFK Jr. take away vaccines that are already on the market? It’s unlikely, but he doesn’t need to. Kennedy sits at the helm of the very department he’s been undermining for years. In that position, the power he has over vaccine policy isn’t limitless, but the changes he can make could ripple for decades.

If I have to concentrate on criticizing any of Trump's Cabinet Secretaries, it will be RFK Jr. I'm a scientist and he's the biggest threat to science of anyone actually confirmed by the Senate (Elon Musk as the effective head of DOGE may be just as big right now, but he's not Senate-confirmed and probably isn't there for the long term). Vox's video helps me by showing how and why he can threaten health research and policy.

One of those threats is the ongoing measles outbreak. ABC News covered that and health policy news in Nearly 500 cases of measles reported across 19 states last week.

Plus, why Utah banned fluoride in public drinking water and the potential fallout from the FDA’s top vaccine official’s resignation.

Utah answered no to 'Should fluoride be in our water?' I hope that doesn't adversely affect my mom, sister, and nephew who live there. Also, the Reduction In Force (RIF) of 20,000 HHS employees shows how both RFK Jr. and Musk combine to be threats to health and science.

CBS Texas updated the situation in the Lone Star State when it reported Texas measles outbreak hits 422 cases; vaccine clinics canceled due to federal cuts last night.

The measles outbreak in Texas continues to spread, with 422 cases reported since January, an increase of 22 cases since Friday. Most cases are in West Texas, where one child has died. Dallas County Health and Human Services has cut 21 workers, including 10 temporary workers, leading to the cancellation of 15 vaccine events, including measles vaccination clinics. These cuts are part of the Trump administration's effort to reduce federal spending.

Bird flu may be a bigger potential threat, but measles is a menace right now.

I'm repeating what I wrote in Randy Rainbow sings 'I Think I'm Gonna Hate It Here' and recycled in Kosta, Colbert, and Kimmel mock Trump for blaming crash on DEI and his Cabinet picks.

Seriously, that supposed ideological diversity probably comes from former Democrats Tulsi Gabbard and RFK Jr., who I called cases of failing upwards. I thought I was done with both of them when they dropped out of the 2020 and 2024 Presidential contests, respectively. Instead, I could be writing about them for the next four years. Ugh. At least my readers and I have Randy and others to keep us sane. May they be like Ben Carson AKA Doctor Pyramid, about whom I ended up writing "At least you were too boring to write about for the past four [years]" after Carson's service as HUD Secretary. May we be so lucky with Gabbard and RFK Jr.

So far, they've been making news. At least they're not boring.

Follow over the jump for the top post of mine about RFK Jr. during the 14th year of this blog.

Ig Nobel Prizes for April Fools Day 2025, a holiday special

Happy April Fools Day! I promised a retrospective about holidays and I'll get to it, no fooling, but first I'm recycling last year's theme of IgNobel Prizes for April Fools Day/A> by sharing Anton Petrov describing Drunk Worms, Butt Breathing and More Hilarious Studies That Won Ig Nobel Prize In 2024.

Hello and welcome! My name is Anton and in this video, we will talk about 10 exciting studies that won the Ig Nobel prize in 2024[.]

I agree with Anton; many of these are important studies, some of which may become stories I tell my students, at least for the next year or so I plan on teaching. The plant that mimics other plants, including plastic ones (Radiohead's Fake Plastic Trees, anyone?), dead trout and salmon swimming, and butt-breathing mammals are facts I can share with my Organismal Biology students. I can even use the last today, as I'm lecturing on the respiratory system in Human Structure and Function after lecturing on the digestive system last week — a transition! My geology students flip coins for an extra credit exercise simulating radioactive decay, so the fair coin finding will be a good story to share with them. Finally, I show age structures comparing Bihar and Kerala, the states with the lowest and highest literacy in India, and point out how illiteracy affects Bihar's reported age structure. The demographic research casting doubt on extreme age might enhance that story.

I hope my readers enjoyed today's excursion into "achievements that first make people LAUGH, then make them THINK." All of them are real research. No hoaxes today!

Follow over the jump for a retrospective of the five most read posts about holidays during the 14th year of Crazy Eddie's Motie News.

Can Elon Musk buy an election? Silly and serious takes on the Wisconsin Supreme Court contest

I'm closing out March's blogging by sharing silly and serious takes on tomorrow's election for Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice, beginning with The Daily Show's Elon Musk & Billionaires Flood the Zone in Wisconsin Supreme Court Race.

Ronny Chieng covers the upcoming Wisconsin Supreme Court election, including Elon Musk’s $20 million intervention in Republican Brad Schimel’s campaign, attack ads against the wrong Susan Crawford, and alternating pro-pedophilia smear campaigns. Plus, Grace Kuhlenschmidt sees how billionaires are turning elections into games.

The preview image asked "Can Elon buy a Wisconsin election?" That was the silly take. I begin the serious takes with Democracy Now! asking the nearly identical question, Can Elon Musk Buy Wisconsin? Ari Berman on Billionaire-Funded Attempt to Flip State Supreme Court.

After spending over a quarter of a billion dollars on Donald Trump's presidential election campaign, Elon Musk is pouring money into a Supreme Court election in Wisconsin. Musk has spent more than $18 million to support Trump-backed candidate Brad Schimel over liberal Susan Crawford and has been paying Wisconsin voters $100 to help flip the state's top court. This election could impact abortion rights, unions and Republicans' ability to keep gerrymandered districts in place to control Congress. "The level of corruption at play here, the level of money at play here, really is a warning sign for what's happening to our democracy," says Ari Berman, voting rights correspondent for Mother Jones magazine.

Amy Goodman and Ari Berman are right; this is part of a larger project that includes Hoover Cleveland's power grab in the form of an executive order regarding elections. The voters can stop it, but only if they demonstrate that the answer to The Daily Show's and Democracy Now's question is "no." To that end, I'm embedding NBC News's Steve Kornacki: Wisconsin Supreme Court race will test Democrat’s off-year turnout 'advantage'.

NBC News National Political Correspondent Steve Kornacki digs into battleground Wisconsin ahead of the state’s Supreme Court election.

I'd like to think Democrats still have the turnout advantage in off-year elections they've had since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Hoover Cleveland won states like Wisconsin and Michigan through "bullet ballots" — people voting for him but no one else. They didn't vote for downballot contests and aren't likely to vote in an election where Trump is not on the ballot. That reminds me of an answer to the question I asked in I ask The Archdruid and his readers 'Can you show us on the doll exactly where the educated professionals hurt you?' The answer is turn against Republicans and deny them downballot victories. I hope that happens tomorrow in Wisconsin and other states where there are off-year and special elections.

That concludes March's blogging. Stay tuned for a retrospective about holidays on April Fools Day.

'SNL' mocks the Signal group chat in its cold open and Weekend Update

Last night's Saturday Night Live began by mocking last week's top U.S. political story in Group Chat Cold Open.

A group of teenagers (Mikey Madison, Sarah Sherman, Ego Nwodim) get added to a group chat with Secretary Pete Hegseth (Andrew Dismukes), Vice President JD Vance (Bowen Yang), Secretary Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernández) and Editor of the Atlantic Jeffrey Goldberg (Mikey Day).

Where's National Security Advisor Mike Waltz? Didn't he start the group chat? I guess he's not known, disliked, or funny enough to be parodied in the skit. On the other hand, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is all three, which is one of the reasons both this scandal and Hegseth are called Whiskeyleaks, a nickname alongside Kegseth. Hegseth deserves his own label on this blog and I think I'll use Kegseth.

SNL continued mocking Whiskeyleaks, both Hegseth and the scandal, in the first segment of Weekend Update: Pete Hegseth Sends Attack Plans on Signal Group Chat.

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem visiting a Salvadoran prison.

At least Waltz made the preview image along with Hegseth, JD Vance, and Marco Rubio, and had a couple of jokes told about him, although I think the one about Hegseth was funnier. As for Kristi Noem's photo op, Michael Che's quip about OnlyFans reminds me of what Steve M. wrote at No More Mister Nice Blog yesterday.

It's obvious that Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's visit to El Salvador's brutal Cecot prison was part of the the Trump administration's effort to keep pumping out images of performative machismo in order to appeal to Trump's multi-ethnic, multi-generational coalition of male voters (a "badass" woman in skintight clothing is a familiar trope in male-coded popular culture)...The Trumpers know what boys like.

A conservative female politician using her sex appeal? I've seen that before.

Weekend Update continued with Will Smith's New Album, 23andMe Goes Bankrupt.

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like three girls trying to stab [their] mother after she turned off the Wi-Fi.

Will Smith's new album alone qualifies this entry as the Sunday entertainment feature, but so does Jost's rant about Paddington and to a lesser extent, Melania Trump's campaign against deepfake revenge porn plus more over the jump.

Too bad 23andMe filing for bankruptcy only got a throwaway line; I guess the privacy concerns weren't funny enough. On the other hand, Joann's bankruptcy earned an entire segment, Joann on JOANN Fabric and Crafts' Bankruptcy.

Joann (Ashley Padilla) stops by Weekend Update to discuss JOANN Fabric and Crafts announcing store closures.

I wish SNL gave all the casualties of the Retail Apocalypse that much attention. Imagine the one of the teens from the cold open bemoaning the loss of Forever 21!

Follow over the jump for more highlights from last night's show plus the top posts from the 14th year of Crazy Eddie's Motie News featuring SNL.

CNBC explains 'What’s Scaring Americans Into Shopping More'

I wrote "I should go on recession watch again" in Forever 21 files for bankruptcy and will close all U.S. stores, a tale of the Retail Apocalypse. To that end, I'm sharing CNBC explaining What’s Scaring Americans Into Shopping More.

Retail sales are holding up, but consumer confidence is slipping. A rising share of Americans are making purchases not out of want, but out of worry. This trend, called "doom spending," is driven by fears of higher prices and supply disruptions. While it may offer a short-term sense of control, it's happening alongside rising debt and financial strain and could set the stage for a sharper slowdown ahead. Watch the video above to learn more about why Americans are spending more amid growing economic concerns.

CNBC shows it's also on recession watch with this video, so I'm in good company. It also points out that the current round of "doom spending" will shore up the economy in the short run, holding off a recession, but could result in a recession when it abates. If so, I'll blame Hoover Cleveland.

If the U.S. does go into recession this year, it won't be because of internal economic forces, but because of government interference, which normally tries to cushion against economic downturns. Biden piloted the U.S. economy to a soft landing, then Hoover Cleveland tries to crash the plane anyway!

Among other things, the threat of tariffs prompted my wife and me to buy a new Volkswagen Tiguan before the price went up. That's a major purchase. Just the same, we're very happy with it; it's providing good experiences in addition to being a material object.

That concludes today's episode of recession watch. Stay tuned for the highlights of tonight's Saturday Night Live.